Hurting

I really am having a hard time. I am having terrible cramping. I am hurting emotionally too. I feel like there really is nothing left for me... I am truly at the point where if there is IVF and nothing comes of it I am going to have a hysterectomy. I cannot go through this monthly punishment anymore.

I am always sad and lonely there is just no sense in suffering needlessly. If there is something that can be done about it. I am just tired more than anyone but God knows. My heart is constantly broken. I cannot live like this anymore. My life is sad anyway, why should I continue to put myself through all of this for nothing.

Having a period every month is just adding to everything else that I am going through. I know that I should have a 4 or 5 month old now, and I have nothing but a piece of paper saying that I am not pregnant anymore. Not to mention the blood that never fails to show every month.

My missing one day and how I reacted to it just shows how sad a case i am and how i am longing for the one thing that seems out of reach for me... I may never have a baby and I have to livewith that no matter how I might not want to.....