Life In Seconds

That is how I have to live. I have found that I cannot use time in the conventional sense because it is just too depressing. Every second gets me through the next minute, and from there it becomes a blur. I feel like sometimes I have no real sense of time anyway. It means nothing to me, it is only there to mark the silence, sadness, and heartache.

I have found that if I live for the moment there is another to fill, so I have decided to live in seconds. A second will pass and not be missed, an hour goes by and we are looking for some sign that we have done something meaningful, or said something profound. A day ahead of us, and we seek to fill it with something that will make it memorable, but it like many others will fall away wasted, and lost. A week passes, and we are asking ourselves--"where does the time go?". A month and we a filling a three ring binder with all that we simply HAVE to do in the next 30 days. A year and there are goals and resolutions for the next year, but what have we done with the many thousands of seconds that make up the hours, days, weeks, months, and years of our lives. Absolutely NOTHING!

So with every second there is a missed opportunity to make someone happy. Say a prayer. Think about someone we miss. Pick up the phone--just to say hi. Pet your dog, or cat. Wave to a neighbor. Watch the sun rise. Listen for a singing bird. All that to say, are we really so busy that everything is so important that it must have a specific hour, or day tagged to it?

Living in seconds is easier for me. If I can make it through the day without thinking about how many hours have passed that I wasn't able to do something or if I coulda-woulda-shoulda--done something I feel pretty okay. if I make my bed, or mop a floor, or take a nap after some quiet contemplation--no biggie. It was only a few seconds anyway........