Friday, January 23, 2009

Today

Today the tears are just beneath the surface. Today, I don't know if I can stop them or if I even want to.

Today the sadness is great.

Today there is no particular reason for the sadness.

Today is just another day.

Today I do not have children, nor will I tomorrow.

Today I will scratch through, I will tomorrow too.

Today I will cry.

Today there will be no miracle.

Today there will be no hope.

Today I will hear somone else's child call me "mama".

Today I will care for a little one.

Today after 5:30pm my house will be silent again.

Today I will hurt.

Today I will have to take a pain pill to function. I will do the same tomorrow.

Today is just another day.

2 comments:

Stacey said...

Amy, the last comment you left for me touched my heart so much. I mean it, you made me sob and I don't do that too often! I love you too - each one of my IF friends has such a special place in my life. I think about you girls all throughout the day.

Oh, I wish I knew what to say on these hard, hard days. No words can make such a thing any easier. Just know you have a friend, and you have a God who loves you and sees every tear.

Katie said...

I don't know how I missed this entry earlier. . .argh, I hate that.

It also made me cry, as so many of your entries do. They are so raw, so true, so pure, so beautifully crafted, though it breaks my heart that anyone has to feel this sad.

Hugs to you, sweet Fried.