Tuesday, February 10, 2009

It Had To Happen

I knew that it would, my neice has stopped calling me mama, and now calls me Amy. It hurts a little, because I know that it will be the only time that I will hear it. I am a little sad. I know that I will never hear it from my own children, and hearing it even from my sister's child made me feel whole in a way.

I think that is the best way to explain it. I feel like even though I am coming to terms with not having children, it is still a challenge to have them around all of the time. I just wish sometimes that they didn't have to leave. My days are hard, but harder still that my house becomes quite once again after they leave.

I am having one of those days where the physical pain is overshadowing the emotional pain, I am without my morphine until the 17th because of insurance making me send it into a mail order company. I do not know if I will be posting for a while, just because I am not feeling well.... I will check in from time to time....



2 comments:

battynurse said...

Hope the pain remains manageable and that the meds soon show up.

Stacey said...

You'll be in my thoughts. I hope you will be able to get some relief soon!